When My Dreams Say Go but My Body Says No

New York Fashion Week. For so many designers and artists, it’s the dream — the moment your work steps into the spotlight on one of the biggest stages in the world.

For me, this moment has been decades in the making. Every brushstroke, every late night, every moment I wondered if I was good enough has led here. Soon, my art, my vision, my brand will walk the NYFW runway.

But I won’t be there.

The Invisible Challenge

I am a leukemia survivor and I live with multiple rare diseases that shape every decision I make. My life isn’t a sprint or a marathon — it’s a relay race. And right now, I have to pass the baton and watch from the sidelines.

When the invitation came, my heart shouted “YES!” — but my body reminded me that travel, stress, and the physical demands of such a trip could leave me vulnerable to infection, in pain, and possibly hospitalized.

So, while my work will be on the runway, I will be watching from afar.

The Bittersweet Victory

Even though I won’t be in the room, my designs will be. They will be seen, celebrated, and photographed under the bright lights.

And while I will be proud, I know there will be grief too — grief for the chance to stand at the end of the runway, to watch my work come to life in person, to meet the other designers, and to thank the people who believed in me.

What Success Really Means

This moment is teaching me that success is complicated — it is joy and pain, triumph and heartbreak, all wrapped together.

Sometimes success means celebrating from afar. Sometimes it means letting go of what could have been and embracing what *is.*

But I am still calling this a victory — because my work, my decades of creativity, my heart and soul will be on that runway.

Choosing Hope

NYFW is not the finish line — it is a launching point. This is just one leg of my relay race.

I will keep creating. I will keep pushing forward. And one day, I *will* be in the room when my art takes its place on the runway.

If you’ve ever had to sit out a dream because of circumstances outside your control, I see you. Your work, your voice, your impact still matter — even when you can’t physically show up.

Celebrate With Me

If you’d like to celebrate this milestone with me, visit my shop or join my email list. This is just the beginning — and I would love to have you with me for every step of the journey.

For My Mother

This milestone is for my mom.

She was my first and fiercest supporter — the one who reminded me that my creativity was a gift worth sharing.

Though she passed away in March, I know she is still with me — in every brushstroke, every design, every step forward. I hear her voice from beyond saying, “I’m proud of you, Little Girl.”

This moment on the NYFW runway belongs to her as much as it belongs to me. I carry her with me into every dream I chase, every risk I take, and every victory I claim.

Mommy, this one’s for you.

 

Photo Courtesy Leta K. Harrison